I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I am available for nakedness
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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