I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
