We won't sleep together?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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