All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
