i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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