Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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