So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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