this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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