I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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