these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
