it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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