Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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