I'm eating all of the evidence.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
