You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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