If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
