I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
