: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
