Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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