Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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