When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize