90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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