elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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