He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
