i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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