Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
