...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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