Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize