I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
