we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
