last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
