I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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