try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
