Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
