she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
