"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
