we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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