lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
