If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
