Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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