At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
