what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
