Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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