Kiss
Puke
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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