If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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