You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
