Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
