he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize