I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Damn victory sex feels great
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
