I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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