And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think i have two assholes
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
