we have officially lost it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dick very happy bro
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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