After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
