also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drake has all the answers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
