my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
