and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
