First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
