Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
