He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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