Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
