She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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