We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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