what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
