Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
last night I used snow as a chaser
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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