I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
