you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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