what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
