Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize