I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
