He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I got chris browned last night
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Boobs are out for the taking
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
