I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize