You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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