i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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