what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
