it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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