Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
