I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
