he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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