I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize