Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
