I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize