I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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