no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
