I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
