I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize