Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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